Yes, I know is not necessarily a title that would get me more readers, but I am proud and happy to have my 13 readers. My old blog had when coming up, 3 readers, and thus is the happiness that I have in this experiment, indescribable.
On days like today I feel just from the air, in every respect.
I feel spongy, have a guilty conscience that I let the days pass me by my dear sister so hab. I hate myself for it.
Then comes the thought "You have to blame themselves, then move up times more, "and I hate myself even more for my thoughts.
In October I am in front of the altar. The thought itself makes me happy and I fever the contrary. But in every movie, every magazine occurs where a bride, she is beautiful, slim with a healthy, long hair is pinned up nicely. In a beautiful dress, which sets out all their positive stimuli or she plays around wonderful.
And then I stand, in my mind, before the altar. A big, ugly, red Klotz on easy heeled shoes. Super.
So, I was always a bit stout, broader than the others, my skeleton is constructed nunmal (no, the not a stupid excuse). I could not reach with bulimia in the world size 38, simply because I have gotten the giant skeleton of my father.
That's not bad. With 90 kilograms no one believed me that I weigh so much because I look like because of my size and disposition, as I would weigh 80th Now with almost 120 kilos of me also believes that no one, because it is simply "good" distributed at me. Most people appreciate me, to just over 100 kilos. This goal is reached again for the time being, because the way I am, I'm not happy, even if my future takes me, and loves the way I am.
If I am to see photos, find other people on it are I feel like ne huge, bold, with Balloons head equipped cow that is out cuts the best or photoshoppt with Liquify to death.
I hate it when I rummaule Sun I can not stand, I always so "close down". I hardly dare with a smile in the mirror to see.
Hopefully you forgive me for my thoughts and the way I deal with me, I can not prevail.
One can only hope that the same stepper does not collapse under me. to get
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